On January 16th I took a flying spill when I tried to drag a huge dude-sized dummy for 50 feet. There I was, lying on the gym floor, elbows bloodied and pants torn, with an astounded audience looking just as horrified as I was. How did I get there?
*sound of a record needle being ripped off the record*
Wait. Let me back up a bit. That Monday I took a run at the EPS physical assessment. The APREP. It stands for “Alberta something something something.” Maybe one of the P’s stands for policing. Probably. I should look that up. It’s a two part test, with the first part being a timed obstacle course that includes walls, stairs, nefarious equipment and - yep, right at the end when you’re tired - dragging a dummy. You have to finish in under 2 minutes and 10 seconds.
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